Review: Kidnapping Freddy Heineken

Frustrated with their failure to get a business loan, a group
of men decide to kidnap beer tycoon Freddy Heineken and demand the largest
ransom ever paid. Kidnapping Freddy Heineken subsequently follows the planning, execution, and
aftermath of the crime.

There is certainly a great film lurking within the story of
the Heineken kidnapping but sadly neither the Dutch or English language
versions have been able to find it. The only slightly engaging aspects about
both adaptations are the title performances. Hauer remained unscathed in the
Dutch picture and managed to inject some of his natural enigmatic charisma to
the proceedings, whilst Hopkins fairs similarly well here bringing a harsh
authority to Heineken. The actor presents a man with nerves of steel,
unflinchingly bold in the face of his inept captors – in fact, the alcohol
tycoon is more intimidating than the criminals who hold him. Yet sadly there
just isn’t enough of the actor here to keep events watchable – instead
screenwriter William Brookfield focuses more on the build-up to the kidnapping and messy aftermath.

The main issue with Alfredson’s film is the sluggish pacing
heightened by an uneventful screenplay. There’s an inordinate build-up to
the actual kidnapping coupled with attempts to give us an insight into the drab family life of the kidnappers. Heineken is kidnapped half-way through and by that point we have lost all
interest in the events. The kidnappers lack any depth – their motivations aren’t even clearly
established – and it’s therefore a challenge to invest in any of them. There’s
no real sense of tension or stakes in the kidnap or escape sequences thanks to lethargic direction and weak
characterisation. A tired eighties setting and washed-out visual aesthetic only
further the lethargic nature of Kidnapping Freddy Heineken.

Despite a cast of well-know young actors taking the roles of
the kidnappers, each performer fails to hit his mark. Sturgess looks awkward under a dodgy blonde haircut and never
convinces in the relationship dynamic exterior to the kidnapping. Although he was a huge scene-stealer in True Blood,
Kwanten fades into the background here – a similar fate is faced by Sam
Worthington. These kidnappers are all so infuriatingly inept that Alfredson’s
scenes of them being brought to justice could potentially redeem – but these also prove just as forgettable as the content that precedes them.

Kidnapping Freddy Heineken is a drab true crime picture that
lacks the taut, clammy tension that a great kidnap thriller thrives on. Hopkins
is a welcome presence, but lacks the screentime to make a lasting impact. If
kidnap films had beer equivalents this would be the light alcohol free variety.
 

Director: Daniel Alfredson
Stars: Jim Sturgess, Sam Worthington, Ryan Kwanten & Anthony Hopkins
UK Release: 3rd April 2015 (On Demand) / 8th June 2015 (Home Release)


Verdict: “If kidnap films had beer equivalents this would be the light alcohol free variety.”


★★