As another year comes to an end – and a particularly grim one for fans of the arts – we cast our yearly lighthearted look at the trashiest movie moments of the past year, hopefully some of which will bring a smile to your face. Will 2016’s trash delights reach the heights of Kate Winslet’s high camp Aussie bitchfest, The Dressmaker? The weirdness of Peachfuzz in Netflix’s chilling Creep? The pure unadulterated lust of Raphael Personnaz being banged in the shower in Francois Ozon’s New Girlfriend? Unlikely, but we’ll try.
Pamela Delivers in The People Garden
International sex symbol and all round camp icon (just watch an episode of V.I.P.) Pamela Anderson made a welcome return to the big screen with arthouse thriller The People Garden. The actress starred as a veteran thesp involved in the case of a missing music video director. Seeing the elegant Pammie elevated and being blown by a wind machine is camp bliss.
The Greasy Strangler. Everything.
How could we pinpoint one moment from this trash epic? Let’s just say “Oinker, where did you get these shoes?”, “Hootie tootie disco cutie!”, “”Bullshit artist!” We could go on naming instantly quotable moments from Jim Hosking’s cult masterpiece, but then how would we find time to speak about Andrew Hung’s cutesie soundrack, the hilarious gore or Michael St. Michaels’ majestic performance? Pour yourself a creamy cocktail and enjoy.
Drunk Ems in The Girl on the Train
It’s hard to make a case for The Girl on the Train as anything more than a mummy-centric potboiler, but that’s fine because that subgenre is often the trashiest – see every Lifetime movie ever. It was the drunken ramblings of Emily Blunt’s Rachel Watson’s that made this thriller bearable – especially when it involved Lisa Kudrow and a tray of devilled eggs.
Derrick Barry in War on Everyone
Drag Race Season 8 favourite Derrick Barry made a surprise appearance in John Michael McDonagh’s fun bad cop flick War on Everyone. Barry was without question the comic highlight as the questionably feminine fiance of one of the characters. We love you Derrick.
Theo James in War On Everyone
War on Everyone also delivered one of the hottest shirtless performances of 2016 with Theo James’s hammy turn as the film’s villain delivering a real sexy swagger. An extended tracking shot of the bisexual villain walking through the corridors of his mansion shirtless delivered a real thrill.
Rob Zombie’s Unholy Triage of Genre Icons in 31
Rob Zombie is a filmmaker that delights us with his casting of countless genre icons in his films. He certainly did this with the casting of Malcolm McDowell, Judy Geeson and Jane Carr as a trio of deliciously camp villains complete with powdered make-up and period costumes. So so camp.
Antibirth: Attack of the Furries
As well as giving us the holy combination of Natasha Lyonne and Chloe Sevigny, Antibirth also introduced us to our new furry nightmares. These garishly coloured Funzone fuzz monsters pop up throughout the film – usually in menacing drug-induced scenes. Thank you Danny Perez for giving us these demented gifts.
Isabelle Huppert and Cats
2016 is the year everyone caught on to how amazing Isabelle Huppert was – and it’s fine, we don’t mind sharing her. With the sublime Valley of Love, the heartbreaking Things to Come and the bitterly comic Elle, Huppert was everywhere and proudly confirmed cinema was alive and well. We noticed that wherever Isabelle was, a furry friend seemed to follow and Things to Come and Elle gave us two of the best woman-cat relationship films we could have hoped for.
Isabella Rossellini is Buffy: Queen of the Hamsters
As well as being the high camp host of Sky Arts’ classy reality series, Masters of Photography, Isabelle Rossellini starred in the wonderful LGBT film, Closet Monster – providing the voice of hamster Buffy. We’ve included this in the trashiest moments list, but it’s actually a very touching performance and some of Rossellini’s most powerful work. Below isn’t an actual still from the film, but it’s still wonderful.
Nick Jonas Shows Us His Goat
As self-proclaimed admirers of pop supremo Nick Jonas, we’re always excited to see him in front of the camera’s delivering visual pleasure as well as aural pleasure. This is something he did with Andrew Neel’s powerful frat hazing drama Goat in which the slightly glimpse of his bum was a pure highlight.
Everybody Wants Some!! (Homoeroticism that is)
The most “unintentionally” homoerotic release of the year was hands down Richard Linklater’s terrific, Everybody Wants Some!! With the athletic bods of stars Tyler Hoechlin, Glen Powell, Blake Jenner and Ryan Guzman paired with eighties short shorts and bad taches, the result was like Tom of Finland Hits the Campus. Picture Top Gun’s volleyball scene as a whole film and you’ll get an indication of the the gay-baiting going on here.
Meryl as the Underdog in Florence Foster Jenkins
Oh Florence Foster Jenkins has all the makings of a gay favourite: Meryl, the underdog ridiculed by mainstream society and art deco period camp. The result was a spellbinding tale that delivered 110 minutes of pure bliss.
Matthias Makes a Bigger Splash
We’re struggling with the fact that we’ve not seen a new Matthias Schoenaerts film since February, but he gave us two of his finest releases back to back this year – Disorder and A Bigger Splash, so we can’t be too mad. The hedonistic desires of A Bigger Splash made for the perfect canvas for Matthias to reveal one of his strongest assets, Baby Matthias, in a number of frontal nudity scenes. Thanks Matthias.
Kevin Spacey Pissing in Cheryl Hines’ Handbag
Nine Lives or the Kevin Spacey cat film wasn’t the disaster many stated, delivering some pleasant and inoffensive family fun – one such piece of this fun being when Spacey’s embittered cat decides to relieve itself in his high-maintenance ex-wife’s handbag. Wonderful.
Adrian Grenier’s Bares All in Trash Fire
Richard Bates Jr. is fast becoming our new favourite genre filmmaker and this was confirmed with the outstanding Trash Fire. Trash Fire is unrelentingly unsettling but gets bonus points for showing us Adrian Grenier’s beautiful bum.
Laverne Makes a Sweet Transvestite
The less said about the well-meaning but totally neutered Rocky Horror Picture Show remake the better – but we’ll make an exception for Laverne Cox’s excellent turn as Dr. Frank N Furter. The Orange is the New Black star was a hurricane of camp as the theatrical mad scientist. Laverne’s interpretation of Sweet Transvestite was a treat.
What did we miss?
Relive the trashiest treats of 2015 / 2014 / 2013 / 2012 / 2011.