Thoughts: The Pain & Gain Trailer

We’ve taken a gargantuan three minutes using the most advanced research methods known to man, to give you an in-depth analysis of the trailer for Michael Bay’s Pain & Gain. You’re welcome.

Before we present our quite frankly, astounding findings to you, we should first present you with the artifact itself. Excuse us, we’ve been watching a lot of Relic Hunter repeats.


Finding #1
Marky Mark is taking part in some slow-motion running and screaming. This looks fun.

Finding #2
Oh wow, Rebel Wilson in this. She’s doing a saucy wink and a cheeky mouth gesture. We like this.

Finding #3
Marky Mark has his top off.
Finding #4
Dwayne Johnson is also in this. But we’d rather watch Marky and Rebel, so we’re not going to dwell on this too much.
Finding #5
Marky Mark is rocking some Miami Vice inspired chic. This is approved.
Finding #6
Oh it’s Ed Harris. We hope you’re okay, we’ve not seen much of you since The Rock.

Finding #7
Marky Mark in a vest against a neon backdrop – trashy treats.

Finding #8
Marky Mark plus strippers and confetti – trash overload.

Finding #9
This is essentially the same as our findings in point number three, but it’s worth posting twice.

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