Culture Fix’s Ten Worst Films of 2013

10 Now You See Me

This smug, over-complicated look at the world of magic, ultimately feels like it is cheating viewers out of something more substantial. Considering its subject matter, Now You See Me, relies on slick CGI effects and fails to actually convince with genuine tricks – e.g. moments like Isla Fisher floating around in a computer-generated bubble may look ‘slick,’ but ultimately lack the authenticity to genuinely engage.

9 Parkland

Despite an excellent cast at its disposal, Parkland’s recreation of JFK’s assassination was ultimately dull and tasteless. This misguided effort included a comic-relief version of Lee Harvey Oswald’s mother and Jackie Kennedy clutching a clump of JFK’s brain-matter (which although true, was it necessary?).

8 Jack the Giant Slayer

It’s pretty clear than Bryan Singer’s heart lies with The X-Men series, crafting its two strongest efforts and shortly returning for his third, X-Men: Days of Future Past, and then ultimately his fourth, X-Men: Apocalypse. Stepping away from his much-loved mutant cronies, Singer directed Jack the Giant Slayer – a truly disappointing fairy-tale feature that relied on dodgy CGI, an impersonal story, and a general lack of fun and pizzazz.

7 The Hangover III

Warner Brother’s cash-cow faded to a forgettable end, void of all the laughs that made the first such a hit. The only highlight was an over-played cameo from Melissa McCarthy.

6 The Last Exorcism II

Horror fans and most others will simply feel unmoved and bored by this cheap, cliched cash-in that loses all the originality and shocks of its predecessor. The ending, in particular, is toe-curlingly awful – complete with generic rock music and CGI fire.

5 The Complex

This embarrassing entry into Hideo Nakata’s back-catalogue lacks any scares and relies on outdated J-Horror cliches that can be seen coming from its opening scenes. It’s hard to believe this is the man who made Ring, it’s less hard to believe that he made Chatroom.

4 Grown Ups 2

This is probably one that we don’t need to go into too much detail about. The urine-fixated Grown Ups 2 makes Jack and Jill look like Casablanca.

3 The Smurfs 2

This is a film that talks down to children who are perfectly more capable of understanding more intricate comedy than this relentless tirade of cheap slapstick. Papa Smurf is going to hell.

2 Movie 43

The fact that only one of the film’s major stars turned up to the premiere of Movie 43 should give you an indicator of its quality. Let’s all take a minute to think about poor Sean William Scott. Possibly worth enduring for one semi-amusing skit with Josh Duhamel, Elizabeth Banks, and a cartoon cat.

1 A Good Day To Die Hard

As life-long fans of the series and its increasingly douchey lead star, we cannot even suggest the smallest redeeming quality in the Die Hard franchise’s fifth entry. This loud, incoherent, lazily performed piece of trash verges on the unwatchable. At this stage, Steven Seagal would even make a better John McClane than Willis.