As has become tradition with the site, and being one of our key interests – we like to look back on the trashiest, brashest and campest cinematic moments of the year. Past highlights have included Olivia Newton-John doing coke, Garrett Hedlund getting nude, and Diane Keaton kissing a frog. So let us all sit back and revel in the campy cinematic trash of 2013.
Gemma Arterton-Troll Love in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
We’re all for equality here, and it seems the people behind Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters are too. Who would have expected this fairytale flick to push such social and political boundaries? Not us anyway. But the brave people behind the film introduced a new kind of love, by featuring a huge amount of sexual tension between Gemma Arterton’s Gretel and chronically horny troll, Edward – and they say romance is dead. If troll love isn’t your thing, then we’re sure that the film’s sumptuous shots of a shirtless Jeremy Renner will be.
Pointer Sisters at 30,000 Feet in I’m So Excited
Pedro Almodovar sky-high comedy I’m So Excited may not have won over many critics, but its mix of exuberant camp, riotous humour, and unabashed absurdity was a hit with us. Its crowning achievement was a sassy Pointer Sisters number performed by the outrageously entertaining Spanish cabin crew.
Zac Efron Grows Up in The Paperboy
The Paperboy was a hot, muggy slice of Southern Gothic trash that made our Top 5 of the year. The film’s star, Zac Efron, moved onto darker territory as young Florida man, Jack Jansen, who falls for Nicole Kidman’s trashy southern vamp. Director Lee Daniels’ keen eye on Zac’s physique added to the pulpy, sexy feel of The Paperboy.
Barbra Streisand Hits the Strip Club in The Guilt Trip
A list of camp wouldn’t be complete without the appearance of one of the entertainment world’s favourite divas. Last year we featured Dolly Parton and Olivia Newton-John, now is the time of pop Goddess Barbra Streisand. Just scraping even at the box office, The Guilt Trip wasn’t the hit that it should have been, but it did provide us with several moments of Babs’ gold. One of these was seeing the Babs’ cheeky Joyce Brewster discussing her son’s genitalia in a sleazy strip club. Thanks Babs.
David Soul Makes a Big Screen Reappearance
We compiled a list of the trashiest moments in Filth earlier this year, but we had to remention one of our highlights – David Soul’s big screen comeback. The actor/pop-star made a little cameo in the Scottish flick and got to belt out his iconic hit, Silver Lady. It was a moment of sheer cinematic bliss.
Jonah Hill Has a Gun in This is the End. Pow!
This is the End saw America’s brightest and best comic stars team-up for a consistently amusing romp that was without doubt one of our comic highlights of the year. Seeing the hilarious Jonah Hill going wonderfully over-the-top with James Franco’s Flyboys revolver still has us in hysterics. Pow!
Channing Tatum is the World’s Favourite Gimp in This is the End
The second-entry for This is the End here (although we could have made a whole list solely about that) features none other than Channing Tatum in a surprise cameo as a gimp. We’re told that it really is Channing in that outfit – surely a testament to his good nature, as we’re pretty sure most stars would have a double for the body work.
Jason Statham Goes Gay in Hummingbird
Britain’s hardest man, Jason Statham (sorry Danny Dyer), surely won a legion of gay fans after his performance in Hummingbird, where he poses as a theatrical actor’s boyfriend. The Stath hides out in the apartment which is covered in homoerotic imagery (as every gay man decorates his apartment…) in one of the more intriguing moments in the action star’s career.
Julianne Moore Brings Back the Hag in Carrie
We love a bit of Hag-Horror and Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story: Coven is delivering that in the form of venerable leading ladies Jessica Lange, Kathy Bates, and Angela Bassett. However, on the big screen Julianne Moore has been flying the flag for the hags. Julianne chewed scenery for America as Carrie’s religious fanatic Mother who was disgusted by her daughter’s “dirty pillows.” Save our souls, Julianne!
James Franco Channels Hugh Hefner in Lovelace
2013 has been a strong year for James Franco who has starred in several features, as well as directing and writing a new novel. The most odd of these, however, was Franco’s cameo in Lovelace, a biopic of Deep Throat star Linda Lovelace. The actor pops up as High Hefner and gets a quick taste of Linda’s talents in a short scene. So that’ll be that then.
Alan Partridge’s Alpha Papa Spurs on Another Comeback
Steve Coogan creation and Norfolk’s favourite son, Alan Partridge, was back on fine form with the release of feature film, Alpha Papa, which lived up to high expectations. The North Norfolk Digital DJ revealed his penchant for eighties power-ballads in an outstanding Patridgean rendition of Roachford’s hit, Cuddly Toy.
Jack Black Camps It Up in Bernie
If you combine the camp of Julianne Moore in Carrie with that of the air stewards of I’m So Excited, you get the level of camp that Jack Black channels into Bernie. Black delivers helpings over loveable Southern exuberance as the Carthage, Texas undertaker beloved by the community. Bernie’s penchant for music resulted in a few wonderfully camp spectacles like his performance of Seventy Six Trombones and gospel anthem, Love Lifted Me.
Cameron Diaz Makes a Mess on Car Windscreens in The Counselor
None of the trash on this list comes close to one bizarre scene in Ridley Scott’s crime flick, The Counselor. The scene sees Diaz dry-hump crazed criminal, Javier Bardem’s sports car – presumably some form of statement about male anxiety over female power and sexuality? We think. Although when it comes down to it, it is essentially just Cameron Diaz doing a Rihanna impression and rubbing herself on a car.
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